‘Never put your all into someone; because once they are gone, u will have nothing’

I feel like I only show the world a portion of me. I feel like I do this for three reasons.

1-Defense Mechanism and Insecurity. I’ve learned to keep people at a distance. My biggest fear is being vulnerable to anyone. I can’t trust anyone with my emotions.

2-For other’s sake. If I know you well enough I will speak my mind for the most part ; but for the general population I keep my thoughts to myself because I know I will be too harsh or you will get the “watered down” version of what I really think.

3- I don’t know how!– When I was younger I could really put my all into relationships whether it be with friends, families, or lovers. When I was all-in it made me very sensitive to anything they had to say, thought, or acted towards me. After  repeatedly getting my feelings hurt I learned to put a wall up. Each time a friendship or romantic relationship went bad that wall got stronger. Now I am to a point where it takes a lot for me to even feel. How crazy is that?

I decided to start this blog to start tearing down some of those walls and take you on my journey. I want to let you into a side of me that is usually only expressed in personal journals or self meditation.  Don’t worry, it’s not going to be all deep n sh!t all the time……. that’s just not me. And at the end of the day, I can only be T 😉